I see confusion all around, and the concepts of mating are simple as long as you realize they are impossibly difficult. Somehow, you will succeed.
Simply, you must remember to be kind, and that life is a journey, not a destination.
The impossibly difficult part is trying to remember these things at all times. But I can give you some pointers.
1. You have approximately 20 years to bear children: between the ages of 20 and 40.
Bearing children before then usually means bringing them into a world lacking resources for their health, education.
Have babies as soon and often as you would like
-if you have total control over a large fortune and have the skills to administer it
-if the baby Daddy and his family, or your family, want to take care of the baby and raise it and you are happy to not be involved in raising your child
-if being a surrogate will pay entirely for your education and all health expenses and you are not at risk carrying a pregnancy to term
Abortion is the worst thing in the world except for giving birth to a child neither you nor anyone else wants. A special place in hell is reserved for those who give help to a pregnant teenager rather than help her abort, and then abandons her and her child after birth.
Bearing children after 40: I gave birth to my 4th at 42, my mother gave birth to her 5th at 44. Naturally fertile, I inherited that.
The chances of conceiving for the first time over 40 are very low. In vitro fertilization has a success rate of 10% or less, depending on the clinic and the age of the mother. Believing that you can wait until after 40 to produce your first child: not a good idea for most.
2. Do not even talk to a man who has children.
You will be caught in a battle with the mother of his children, and the battle will continue with your children and her children. And his ability to pay for college and support your children is severely reduced. Unless he is wealthy and his children are grown and independently wealthy. He may want to control you; maybe you like that. I would not.
Of course, if you have access to your own fortune, have no need of a man's financial help, and are happy that his other children take a lot of his time and energy, ignore this.
3. Be equally yoked.
This advice came from the New Testament, and the second pointer is an example of this advice. Be at the same place in your journey: education, financially, emotionally.
4. Don't do anything you will regret.
I loved the story of a movie star having her husband's name tattooed on her ring finger: Tommy. When they divorced, she had a repair tattooist change it to Mommy.
5. Regret nothing.
A divorce is not a failure, it is the end of a part of life that may have been wonderful, exciting: but it has ended. Move on, communicate if you have to, forget revenge. If the ex is likely to harm you or your children, do everything you can legally and emotionally to make sure this does not happen. Focus on what you need to do and may your life be long, healthy and happy.